Sunday, January 16, 2011

One final day!

I'm being induced tonight.  OMG I am being induced tonight.  Today has been the longest day of my life.  I couldn't sleep last night.  I am not ready for this.  What will he look like?  How will I feel?  Will I need the epidural?  Will he be ok?  I'm not ready to be a mom.  How will my marriage change?

I tried to rest this morning.  I'm still on bedrest, but I can't rest.  I've tried, I promise.  I keep looking around the house and seeing how much needs done.  When I leave tonight, I will be coming home with my son.  The dishes need done.  I need to vacuum.  There is so much clutter all over the place.  This is no place to bring a child.  Why didn't I do all this stuff before now???  I was working a little on moving around the clutter in the dining room, but Shawn got irritated and made me go lay back down.  I watched Benjamin Button on Netflix, but I just can't concentrate on it.  I'm so anxious!

Jeremy and Candy brought pizza over for dinner.  I figured, it's the last day, screw the no sugar diet!  It was good pizza.  Clint and Diane came over earlier today to pray for us and the baby and the doctors.  I feel better about the induction and the medications and all after the praying.  I'm very nervous about the cytotek, but I trust the doctor knows what she is doing, and all will work out.

After Jeremy and Candy left, it was time to leave for the hospital.  I started crying.  I kept telling Shawn over and over, I am not ready for this.  Maybe we could wait a few more days.  What's the big rush to induce?  He's excited, but I am so nervous.

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